Yes, you read correctly.

Putting an egg on any subway sub instantly classifies it as a breakfast sub, reducing the price to $3.50 for a 6-inch and $5.99 for a footlong.

These are the cheapest prices available (aside from the $3 daily special.) Don’t get the daily special. It makes you look like you’re only doing it because it’s cheap and so are you.




If you turn your sandwich into a breakfast sandwich using this trick, people will think you are

a) assertive

b) kind

c) horrifyingly attractive (sexually)

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It’s a trick sure, but it works — and that’s the best part about tricks.

Let me tell you a story. My wife and I used to have a very intimate relationship. By which I mean we would engage in intercourse upwards of twice a day on alternating days. If you do the math, this adds up to up to 365 times per day. I mean year. Excuse me, that was a typo.

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Except for this one time where we did have sex 365 times a day. That night, both of us died from exhaustion. An angel came down from heaven and told us to pop a squat.

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“Take a knee,” the beautiful androgynous spirit commanded. We did as zhe commanded, for we were too terrified to disobey!

“Y’all niggas crazy,” the angel said *tears of laughter emoji*

“You all really thought y’all could just fuck with such reckless abandon? Shit.” The angel clicked his tongue and we scrambled to find a frying pan to cover ourselves with (still naked from sex.)Adam and Eve 2

But there was mercy in the lord’s servant that fine day (it was still only 4:32pm.)

“I’ma let you off with a warning this time,” the angel said, sucking his teeth.

“But don’t let me catch you horny-ass bitches butt fucking each other in such a fashion ever again, ya hear?” the angel hollered, pointing a metal toothpick at us admonishingly.

We nodded in shame.

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Basically, we never had sex again because of this. So you tell me? Who is the victim and who is the righteous one in this scenario?




I think I should be able to do whatever I want.

And so should you do.

That is why the sandwich discount with the egg and I have tied it all together now.