Yes, you read correctly.

Putting an egg on any subway sub instantly classifies it as a breakfast sub, reducing the price to $3.50 for a 6-inch and $5.99 for a footlong.

These are the cheapest prices available (aside from the $3 daily special.) Don’t get the daily special. It makes you look like you’re only doing it because it’s cheap and so are you.

If you turn your sandwich into a breakfast sandwich using this trick, people will think you are

a) assertive

b) kind

c) horrifyingly attractive (sexually)


It’s a trick sure, but it works — and that’s the best part about tricks.

Let me tell you a story. My wife and I used to have a very intimate relationship. By which I mean we would engage in intercourse upwards of twice a day on alternating days. If you do the math, this adds up to up to 365 times per day. I mean year. Excuse me, that was a typo.


Except for this one time where we did have sex 365 times a day. That night, both of us died from exhaustion. An angel came down from heaven and told us to pop a squat.

Angel Wallpapers


“Take a knee,” the beautiful androgynous spirit commanded. We did as zhe commanded, for we were too terrified to disobey!

“Y’all niggas crazy,” the angel said *tears of laughter emoji*

“You all really thought y’all could just fuck with such reckless abandon? Shit.” The angel clicked his tongue and we scrambled to find a frying pan to cover ourselves with (still naked from sex.)Adam and Eve 2

But there was mercy in the lord’s servant that fine day (it was still only 4:32pm.)

“I’ma let you off with a warning this time,” the angel said, sucking his teeth.

“But don’t let me catch you horny-ass bitches butt fucking each other in such a fashion ever again, ya hear?” the angel hollered, pointing a metal toothpick at us admonishingly.

We nodded in shame.


Basically, we never had sex again because of this. So you tell me? Who is the victim and who is the righteous one in this scenario?

I think I should be able to do whatever I want.

And so should you do.

That is why the sandwich discount with the egg and I have tied it all together now.