Whoever said women can’t be funny has never met my mom!

She invented Gatorade in 1992 on a dare. Most people don’t know this but Powerade actually existed first.

 I’m sorry that’s a typo I meant “date.” She was dating a chemist at Florida University (go gators.) 


They were in his lab one evening (romantic) when he said “I bet you can’t concoct a sports drink with as much salt as there is sugar!” 

He only said this because he didn’t know how, not because he fucking loved science. But my mom did. She doesn’t anymore but she did and she cooked him up a batch of preemo Powerade right there on the spot. 

“Wow, how’d you do that?” the scientist exclaimed in terror. 

Did my mom tell him the truth — that she’d been with another, smarter, more handsome scientist at the Florida State labs the night before watching him fry up a kettle of Powerade on the Bunsen burner? 

No, this story is about her being funny, not honest and scientific. Instead, she took a healthy swig of that sports juice and told a joke. I don’t remember what it was, I wasn’t there. 

I’m undermining my point by not being able to recall the punchline but I promise it was probably really funny.