You’ve heard of #FloridaMan.
Now meet his mother — Florid Ma’am.
This Gainesville, FL woman was arrested of charges of first degree beastiality last night. According to sources, Mary Baton-Rouge Louisiana (78) was in the midst of fornicating with a live alligator down in the bayou last night when she was apprehended by officials.
Locals are shocked that this kind of act would take place is their small cajun town.
“If this isn’t the filthiest thing I’ve heard happen west of the Mississippi, then I don’t know what is,” someone said.
“We’re accustomed to eating crawdads and Popeye’s chicken around these parts — and although I can attest that alligator may taste somewhat like chicken, I have never performed cunnilingus on one,” said another.
Ms. Louisiana has been sentenced to death.